Director: Breck Eisner
Starring: Vin Diesel, Olafur Darri Olafsson, Michael Caine
Release: October 23rd, 2015
I’m not sure how Vin Diesel ever became an action star. He’s just not that cool, attractive, or interesting. I guess it’s the voice, and The Fast and the Furious, though I have no idea why that franchise is popular. Did you know that his real name is Mark Sinclair? The guy’s a fake, he’s pretending to be an action hero, and we’ve all been falling for it for 15 years. I think it’s time to stop.