Director: John McNaughton

Starring: Matt Dillon, Denise Richards, Kevin Bacon, Neve Campbell

Year: 1998

It might be cool to kinda like Wild Things even though it’s terrible, but I can do that with other movies, not this one, this one sucks.  I know, I know, they were trying to be bad; well they succeeded.  There is some fun in being awful on purpose, I get that, I can enjoy that, and this film definitely went overboard with intent, it’s not a complete accident that everything in it is horrible.  But, I mean, my eyes still have to see, and what we’re being asked to watch isn’t something that’s worth the forgiveness that a b movie requires.  When I was 16 it was sexy, now it’s just dumb, and not worth a trip down memory lane.

In the rich town of Blue Bay, Florida, the Van Ryan’s rule all.  Sandra Van Ryan is the queen of an empire her husband left her, Kelly Van Ryan is her beautiful daughter, and they both get what they want when they want it and no one says no.  Well, until Kelly crosses paths with her guidance counselor Sam Lombardo and decides she wants him, which he refuses, which makes Kelly mad.  So she accuses him of rape to get back at him and convinces another girl to do the same, although Sam swears he’s innocent.  What follows is a twisted tale of back stories and back stabbing, as everyone seems to be in on some sort of con job, and no one is getting out alive.

I like the Florida setting, the overtly ridiculous opulence and melodrama, the Silk Stockings feel to the whole thing.  That’s fun, and the story is tricky, and the girls are hot, and when I was a teenager all that was enough to entertain at least, but not now; now I need more.  Well, there isn’t more, that’s the thing, there’s nothing else to be given, because no one involved in this movie is talented, except for Bill Murray, who really steals the show.  Everyone else sucks, can’t act, looks dumb, and might as well just be spouting random lines and conspiracy theories because the dialogue never feels like two people would ever speak to each other that way, even in fiction.  Denise Richards was an icon, it’s fun to see her here, but that’s about it; the rest is an attempt at b-excellence that’s more like d-ignorance.

My rating: ☆



By ochippie

Writer, Critic, Dad Columbus, Ohio, USA Denver Broncos, St. Louis Cardinals Colorado Avalanche, Duke Blue Devils