Director: F Gary Gray
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Edward Norton
Year: 2003
Were our standards low in 2003? Because I remember Italian Job as being cool, when, really, it mostly sucks. At least it got us temporarily excited about Mini Coopers, I guess there’s that, and it was an excuse to ogle Jason Statham & Charlize Theron, so …yay? Otherwise, this crime caper is a bad remake of the original and a sloppy example of what mediocre acting can get you in the hands of the wrong director. Sad.
A small group of intelligent, non-violent thieves steal a cache of gold bars from a Venetian home, and escape in victory to celebrate their brazen achievement. Only problem is, one of their gang pulls a backstab, leaving them for dead and taking the treasure. Later, they will regroup under the leadership of Charlie, the master planner, this time to get back what was once rightfully stolen.
It’s the cast that’s the big problem. Marky Mark wasn’t ready, neither was Charlize, and Ed Norton was only thrown in for credit & respect, he didn’t actually have to do anything but act like a very bad person. That left Mos Def, Statham, and Seth Green (??) to pick up the slack, and they all completely sucked. This is an OK crime movie that leaves very little impact and has no believability. Its jokes always miss, its capers aren’t that exciting, and man is the acting awful. I’m bummed that I revisited this one, cause it’s not nearly as fun as I remember.
My rating: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆