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Movie Review - Sheena - Archer Avenue

Director: John Guillermin

Starring: Tanya Roberts, Ted Wass

Year: 1984

Like Tarzan but curvier, Sheena is a ridiculous tale of a fish out of water becoming a shark instead of dying.  The moral of both of those stories; lose yourself in the jungle somewhere and you will become superhuman and irresistible.  Pretty wild, but at least Tarzan has the honor of being very old, while Sheena is just an 80s ploy, an exploitative romp that succeeds in fitting into a very bizarre genre, but fails at pretty much everything else.

Deep in the heart of Africa, a married couple search to find the magic earth, a special place where the very soil can cure all wounds.  But, as they discover the secret, they are killed, and their young daughter is left in the hands of a native tribe, who have a prophecy that says that the girl, Sheena, will become their protector and their champion.  Years later, an evil neighboring prince wishes to destroy the tribe, and only Sheena, with her powers and with an unlikely American friend, can save the people and their gift.

It’s not all bad, but god is it bad.  It’s like Tarzan but much worse, and probably even more unacceptable, given that it is modern enough to have known better.  It’s silly, it’s rompy, it’s ludicrous, it’s all over the place, and it just feels kinda icky at most times, even if you can’t always put you finger on why (although sometimes you sure can).  Tanya was hot at the time, this role came between Beastmaster and A View to a Kill, but no one else in the cast is worth mentioning, although the banter between the Americans was kinda funny.  Otherwise, stay far away, and visit others of the genre instead, other fantasy frolics, because this one is weird.

My rating: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

 

By ochippie

Writer, Critic, Dad Columbus, Ohio, USA Denver Broncos, St. Louis Cardinals Colorado Avalanche, Duke Blue Devils