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Movie Review - Escape to Witch Mountain - Archer Avenue

Director: John Hough

Starring: Kim Richards, Ike Eisenmann, Eddie Albert, Donald Pleasence

Year: 1975

I barely have the heart to tell my wife that this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.  For her, it’s a childhood favorite.  For me, it was hard to sit through.  I do kind of remember this from when I was young, and there were sequels and remakes as well, but it must not have stuck with me, because I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I’m sorry now that I do.  This is a terrible, terrible movie, with the worst acting, effects, and story you are ever likely to see.

Two kids, Tony & Tia, are orphans twice over, having lost their family when they were too young to remember and having lost their adoptive parents as well.  Now they live in an orphanage, but the kids there don’t like them much, mostly because of their special abilities.  They have telepathy, telekinesis, can talk to animals, can tell the future, can levitate; it’s wild.  And when a rich many who wants mystic power to make him rich finds out about them, they’re in for a world of trouble.  Now Tony & Tia are on the run, trying to find their real people, before they get turned into some sort of psychics in cages.

Just awful.  And sadly so, because this is a weird, unique, classic sci-fi wackadoo, and it did fairly well, spawning a whole mini franchise.  It’s also one of my wife’s favorites, but I couldn’t lie when we watched it with the kids; I thought it was pure mistake, just one giant ‘bad’.  The acting is embarrassing, the special effects are laughable, and the story feels like the little kids are making it up as the go along and the director is just making the crew create whatever the kids can imagine on the spot.  It would probably do well as one of those films you narrate and make fun of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 style, but that’s about all it’s worth.

My rating: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

 

By ochippie

Writer, Critic, Dad Columbus, Ohio, USA Denver Broncos, St. Louis Cardinals Colorado Avalanche, Duke Blue Devils