Director: Yimou Zhang
Starring: Matt Damon, Tian Jing, Willem Dafoe
Release: February 17th, 2017
The answer to the question of why did they built the wall is “to keep out the Mongols”. I know that’s not fun, but it’s true. Now, you want to imagine it was dragons? Fine I guess. You want to cast Matt Damon as the hero? Umm, OK, now you’re starting to lose me. This is basically an alternate history fantasy flick starring a Hollywood hunk in an attempt to get a few people in the theatre. Without him, we wouldn’t even notice this movie. With him, it’s basically a joke. And if you read up on it, you find out that it’s a loose adaptation of a Franz Kafka novel, with the new stuff co-written by Max Brooks. That’s a weird combination, and I don’t think I’m interested.