Director: John G. Avildsen
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Sage Stallone, Tommy Morrison
Year: 1990
Rocky V is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery; it’s a traveshamockery! It’s especially bad when you remember (or have just watched) how good the first was 14 years previous, and even how great the fourth one worked 5 years before. This formula can work and has worked; it’s ridiculous that adding the original director back into the fold wasn’t enough to pick this story back up again, given how much we already are ready to love it. Simply put, this Rocky is a stupid disaster from start to finish, and anyone involved in it should be ashamed. Maybe it was a bad idea to cast your son as your son and some random real boxer as the emotional lead of the film. Bleck.
When Rocky returns from his match with Ivan Drago, he finds that a lot has changed. Sure, he’s an international sensation and a local hero, but Paulie has lost all the family’s money somehow, so it’s back to rags from riches. Seriously; they move back to their old neighborhood, Rocky starts working at Mickey’s gym, Adrian starts back at the pet shop, Rock Jr. has to go to the rundown school, and everything looks to have turned back gray; nothing gold can say. But there might be a silver lining; a kid named Tommy Gunn wants Rocky to be his manager, and just might have the talent to make it big. Ignoring his own family, Rocky takes someone else under his wing, jeopardizing all he’s worked so hard to build over all these years.
Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III, Rocky IV, and now Rocky V; there’s still Rocky Balboa, but that was done 16 years later; it might as well be considered in a group with Creed and Creed II. So there you have the quintuplogy (?) and man oh man did they end it on a low note. This latest episode in the Balboa saga is a steaming pile, nothing more than that, and it’s a shame it had to come to this. The dialogue is ridiculous, Sly’s son is abysmal and a huge pivotal part, Tommy is even worse and he’s like the main character, and then there’s a forced angel-on-my-shoulder plot line that feels completely out of place and idiotic. All the old ingredients are missing, as much as they tried to force feed what was supposed to taste similarly but never, ever could. The fight at the end makes you feel less intelligent having watched it, and that’s not the way I wanted to close this chapter of my life, watching these five films. Oh well, I had some fun along the way, it definitely wasn’t all bad, even the best artists have trouble tying a bow on even the best content.
My rating: ☆